Parquet Wishes and Leprechaun Dreams

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Recap: Preseason Game 4 (vs New Jersey)

BOSTON CELTICS VS. NEW JERSEY NETS

October 19, 2007
7:30 PM EST (Comcast SportsNet)
DCU Center (Worcester, MA)
Announcers: Mike "GORE GORE" Gorman and Tommy Gunz ; Gary "Astronauts Drink" Tanguay and Donny "Yell" Marshall (in-studio) ; Greg "Old Saint" Dickerson (sideline reporter)
Celtics Starting Lineup: Rayden, I've Got a Rajon Rondo, Perk'd Off, Kevvy G, Da Troof
Nets Starting Lineup: Antoine "Time to" Wright, Eddie Gillbert, Jamaal MaglorieHole, Josh Boone and Crockett Club, Bostjan Snackbar

Okay, by now you all know the story of "The Preseason Game Which Must Never Be Spoken Of Again" ... Not only did four of New Jersey's five starters not even bother making the trip in to Worcester (nypost.com), but the game was called off at halftime due to condensation on the court (you can check here for my first-hand account of the incident). Basically, this game has been officially stricken from the record books; it's like it never happened.

So why am I bothering to recap a two-quarter game that history will have no record of? I dunno, call me a completionist ... or an idiot, take your pick.

FIRST QUARTER

Magliore wins the opening tap against Perkins, but the ball goes off Wright out of bounds; that gives Boston the first possession of the night, and they respond with some nice ball movement as Ray is on the right-hand corner of the court and they swing it all the way around to the opposite end where Pierce is wide-open for the three-point attempt. It misses, but Ray gets the offensive rebound; however, he can't follow up on the putback, and Wright picks up the loose rebound. At the other end, Magliore tries to back down Perk, but Ray comes over for the double-team and Jamaal is forced to kick it back out; however his pass finds itself right in the hands of Rondo, who quickly get it up ahead to Pierce for the fast break. Paul tries to get a little fancy with a behind-the-back pass to Allen, but Gill steps in to break it up and Ray ends up running right into him as the refs call for the offensive foul. New Jersey regains possession, and Nachbar ends up being fouled by Pierce making a move to the hoop; that puts him at the line, and he knocks down both free throws (0-2 10:54).

Garnett hits the pullup jumper over Magliore with 10:47 on the clock to give the C's their first points of the evening, then Jamaal is whistled for the three-second violation, as Boston retakes possession (play is delayed a few seconds as a ballboy comes in to mop up a wet spot underneath the basket, a sight we'd be getting used to throughout the night). When play resumes, Perkins inbounds the ball to Rondo, who brings it upcourt before passing to Pierce who misses the outside shot. Gill takes the rebound and we go back the other way; Magliore then misses, but Nachbar grabs the offensive rebound, and kicks it back out to Gill, who misses the three-point attempt. Allen snares the rebound and takes it upcourt himself; he gives it up to Pierce, who then quickly gets it back to Ray behind the three-point line. However, that shot misses, and Boone pulls down the loose board; he gives it to Gill, who gets the ball upcourt to Magliore, and he goes in for the layup but runs into Perkins. The refs call the foul on Kendrick, and Jamaal goes 1-for-2 from the line (2-3 8:45).

Things are a little sloppy right now (and I'm not just talking about the floor), as Pierce lobs it underneath to Garnett, who tries for the behind-the-back pass to Perkins, but it's a little high and the ball sails out of bounds; the Nets regain possession, but can't capitalize as Nachbar's three-point attempt bounces wide right and out of bounds. It's back Boston's way, as Pierce slices down the lane amongst three defenders and tries to get the ball to Perkins, but Gill intercepts the pass and takes it the other way for the fast break; he finds Nachbar who takes it in over Rondo for the layup plus the foul, and makes the free throw to complete the three-point play (2-6 7:48).

That's New Jersey's first field goal of the night (1-4 FG); meanwhile, Pierce makes a nice move around Nachbar but then misses a wide-open layup (Boston has now missed five of their first six shot attempts)! Nachbar gets the rebound and gives it to Gill, who brings it upcourt and then passes inside to Magliore. He tries to muscle his way in past Perkins, but the refs whistle him for the offensive foul; I should also note that Jamaal slips on the floor after trying to make that move (he's the first one).

It's Celtics possession, and Rondo passes to Garnett (who is immediately double-teamed) so he gives it back to Rajon cutting down the lane, and he makes the nice upfake to avoid Magliore before scoring with the layup (4-6 7:10). Nachbar then misses a three-pointer, and KG hauls down the rebound; he gives the ball to Rondo, who quickly brings it upcourt and finds Pierce, who is fouled by Wright trying for the layup. That sends Paul to the line, and he makes both free throws (6-all 6:42).

Wright then tries to redeem himself by driving into a crowd of Celtics, and misses the shot badly; Boone gets the offensive rebound, but has his putback attempt swatted out of bounds by Perkins (nice). It's still New Jersey ball, but Nachbar misses the pullup jumper over Pierce, and KG gets the loose board. He gives the ball to Rondo to start the fast break, and he passes to Allen, who finds the trailer Garnett for the outside jumpshot, but he can't connect (Heinsohn: "I heard there are tight rims here in Worcester"). Nachbar gets the rebound and passes off to Gill, who gets it upcourt to Wright for the jumper at the top of the key; that too misses, and Pierce snatches the carom. He dishes to Rondo, who makes the fullcourt pass to a hustling KG for the one-handed dunk (8-6 5:41).

Allen then plays some nice defense on Wright, forcing him to hold onto the ball until he finally gets it to Magliore, who is forced to take the jumper to beat the shot clock and hits nothing but air; Boston regains possession (as New Jersey is now 1-for-10 from the floor), but again there is a delay as attendants are wiping up the court underneath the Celtics basket. When play resumes, KG tries a jumper at the top of the key but misses (the Celts right now aren't much better, just 4-for-10 from the field) and Magliore hauls down the rebound. He gives the ball to Gill, who hustles upcourt and finds Nachbar underneath the basket, but he is enveloped by Garnett and has to kick it back out to Gill; he finds Magliore alone at the top of the key, but Pierce jumps out at him and that "spooks" him into shuffling his feet before dribbling, and the refs call the travelling violation (that's the fifth turnover for the Nets).

Boston take possession, but Rondo spends a little too much time dribbling and eventually tries to make a move along the baseline, but Gill strips him of the ball and it goes off one of the Nets out of bounds. So, it's still Celtics possession with just two seconds left on the shot clock, as Rajon inbounds the ball to Pierce, who goes up over Nachbar for the revere layup just before the buzzer sounds (10-6 4:02)!

KG then blocks a layup attempt by Magliore, and Pierce collects the loose ball; he gets it up ahead to Rondo, who swings it around to a wide-open Ray Allen for the three-pointer (13-6 3:32)! That wakes the crowd up, as My Other Cousin Darrell Armstrong (just into the game) tries the outside shot and misses; KG grabs the rebound and makes a fullcourt pass to Perkins (he was just motoring up the court), who's covered by Boone. Rather than force the issue (and possibly picking up the offensive foul), Kendrick kicks it back out Rondo, who notices Ray again spotting up in the corner, so he gets the ball to him and Allen hits another trey (16-6 2:52)!

Now Boston's offense is starting to heat up, as Boone misses the hook shot over Garnett (New Jersey is now 1-for-13 from the field!) and KG nabs the 'bound; it's Celtics possession when Jason Collins All Cars is called for the defensive three-second violation; that's a technical foul, and Ray makes the free throw (as attendants are again wiping up the floor at the other end of the court). It's still Boston ball, as Allen misses the jumper, but Perkins grabs the offensive rebound and kicks it to Rondo, who slices down the lane before giving it up to KG for the layup (19-6 1:48) ...

Things certainly picked up at the end there (at least we got a little taste of what the "Not Big Three" had to offer), as the Celts are up 21 to 8 at the end of one.

SECOND QUARTER

Boston's starting five held New Jersey's (admittedly lacklustre) starting five to just one field goal in the first quarter (1-15 FG!); meanwhile, they were able to rebound from a poor start and shoot nearly 50 percent from the floor (8-17 FG). The starters also played every minute of the quarter, so Glenn Rivers M.D. makes wholesale substitutions to begin the second (The Scals of Justice, Allan Tony, Leon Powe Powe Powe Wheels, Hugh Laurie, and Parker Posey have all come in) ... However, five seconds into the quarter and the refs stop play so that the attendants can AGAIN wipe up the floor; with Tony Allen's knee issues from last year, Doc's not taking any chances of another injury and quickly calls Just Pruitt to the scorers' table; meanwhile, Armstrong blows by House for the easy layup (21-10 11:46). Posey is then called for an offensive foul as he runs into Armstrong; sure enough, Pruitt comes in during the stoppage of play to replace Allen, who lasted a whopping 29 seconds on the court (11:31); hope you you didn't tire yourself out too badly, Tony!

As for the players still on the court, the absence of the "Not Big Three" is definitely noticeable (Scalabrine suddenly is our main option, as he airballs a three-point attempt and has a layup attempt blocked by Collins) while Armstrong hits the three-pointer as the Nets have run off seven straight points (21-15 10:07).

The condition of the floor is really starting to deteriorate now, as Robert "Go Fly a" Hite slips and nearly lands face-first trying to make a move around Pruitt; the refs bail him out by whistling Gabe for the foul. It's still New Jersey ball, but Allen misses the jumper and Pruitt grabs the rebound. He brings the ball upcourt himself, and finds Scalabrine who swings it around to a wide-open House, but he misses the three-point shot. However, Powe pulls down the offensive board and (surrounded by four defenders) he still tries to go up for a layup attempt and is fouled; that sends him to the line, where he makes 1-of-2 foul shots (22-16 7:50).

Allen then tries to inbound the ball to Armstrong, but he just collapses into Scalabrine and both hit the floor (not sure if that was due to the slippery floor or just a flop job); in either case, the refs side with the little guy and call the foul on Scals (?!?); Boston is already over the limit, and Darrell makes both foul shots (22-18 7:49).

A basket by ex-Celt Jumaine "Gee Mutt" Jones pulls New Jersey within one, but at the other end Nachbar fouls Dahntay Stop Believing with 6:57 left in the half game trying to keep him out of the paint; Glen "Macrosomia" Davis comes in to replace Powe at this point (and gets nice reaction from crowd). The Nets are not in the penalty yet, so Dahntay inbounds to House, who goes for the quick three-point attempt and misses; Nachbar grabs the loose board, but shuffles his feet and the refs call him for travelling, so the Celts regain possession and Scals makes a nice pass inside to Posey who scores on the layup. He was also fouled by Sean "Stifler" Williams, and makes the free throw to complete the three-point play (25-20 6:40).

Nachbar then misses a three-pointer, and House gets the board; he brings the ball upcourt himself, then gets it to Pruitt who finds Posey behind the arc for the trey (28-20 6:11). Pruitt then steals a lazy pass by Armstrong and takes it back the other way, finishing with the nice move around Nachbar for the layup (30-20 5:51). Now the second unit is finding their bearings ...

Of course, it's hard for anyone to find their bearings under these conditions, as Gorman notes that "everyone seems to be on eggshells a little bit out there [as] three individuals with mops are doing circles trying to get the moisture off the floor before the action comes back the other way".

Let's just wrap things up now, as I'm starting to get depressed all over again ... Jumaine hits a three-pointer to cap the 11-4 Nets run (34-31 1:51). Davis is then called for an offensive foul setting the screen on Armstrong; New Jersey regains possession with a chance to get within one or tie, but Nachbar tries to make the pass inside to Mile Ill-Leech and Powe steps in front for the steal. Leon then takes it coast to coast himself for the two-hand slam (36-31 1:27).

That excites the crowd for one last time, as the quarter game ends with the Celts up 36 to 33.

THIRD QUARTER

Nada.

FOURTH QUARTER

Nope.

FINAL SCORE: Boston 36, New Jersey 33

GAME RATING:


-1
SMURFING DISGRACE


BOSTON TOP PERFORMERS:
  • Garnett: 6 PTS (3-5 FG), 4 REB, 1 BLK
  • R. Allen: 7 PTS (2-5 FG, 2-3 3PTers)
  • Posey: 6 PTS (2-3 FG), 2 REB
NEW JERSEY TOP PERFORMERS:
  • Nachbar: 10 PTS (2-6 FG, 6-7 FT), 4 REB
  • J. Jones: 9 PTS (4-7 FG), 3 REB
  • D. Armstrong: 8 PTS
TONIGHT'S COG (CELT OF THE GAME): Everyone who didn't fall and fracture a kneecap

TOMMY QUOTES:
  • "[When we played college ball at Holy Cross], we never had a building like this in the middle of Worcester, and we used to play at the Worcester Auditorium, which, um, they had band concerts there and symphony orchestras and occasionally a basketball game. But, uh, this is terrific what they have here now."
POST-GAME NOTES:
  • This game gets a negative rating just for the way things were handled after the second half was cancelled ...
  • Having re-watched the game on tape now, I see that officials were contemplating cancelling the game as early as noontime (I was completely oblivious to the situation, since there was no indication inside the arena that anything was amiss).
  • Just to make it clear once again, this will not go down as an official preseason game ... That means that any stats from tonight will not factor into preseason averages, and the Celtics are still 3-0 in the "standings" (the only unbeaten NBA team left).
  • Captain Kidd sat out the game with a bad back, but the other three starters (Richard Jefferson Airplane, Vindifference, Krstic the Clown) were just being lazy ... or smart, as it turns out, for saving themselves a wasted trip.
  • Bob "Cheap" Cousy joined Mike and Tommy at the announcers' table during the second quarter; the PA announcer also acknowledged the hometown hero's presence and the crowd responded with a standing ovation.
  • It didn't translate very well on TV, but there was a pretty good "Scal-A-Bree-Nee (clap clap clapclapclap)" chant going in the second quarter ... I'm not sure why I bothered to mention that, maybe just to preserve some kind of record that he actually has a fanbase.

No comments: