He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like Big Baby's eyes.

I don't care if it's over a month old ... I just found the greatest image in the history of the internet.

Believe me, once you see this thing, you won't care if it's a month old, a year old, a thousand years old. It transcends time and space. It is ageless. It is boundless. It is amaranthine. It is ... Big Baby.

BOSTON - NOVEMER 5 : Boston Celtics Glen "Big Baby" Davis and Tony Allen attend the "Teaming Up for Kids" dinner hosted by the Boston Celtics Shamrock Foundation on November 5, 2007 at the Intercontinental Hotel in Boston, Massachusetts. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2007 NBAE. Photo by Brian Babineau/NBAE via Getty Images (sports.yahoo.com)

Look at it. Drink in the splendour. Absorb every detail. Feast upon the richness and complexity of Ronald Glen Davis.

But most of all, focus on the eyes. The eyes are the windows into the soul, and therein lies the soul of a superior being.

The 21 years of accumulated knowledge hidden beneath those eyes comes crashing down upon you like a sledgehammer, nearly leaping off the computer screen like a wild animal ready to consume you ... which gives me pause, for there is a hint of the disturbing lurking within those eyes. Dormant, yet powerful. Intriguing, yet frightening. Fascinating, yet deadly.

Yes, those eyes have seen many battles, waged many wars (just ask Leon Powe [bostonherald.com]). These kinds of things can harden a man, even at such a young age. Make him twisted. Sinister. Devious.

What truly lies behind those eyes? What dark dreams, what ugly ambitions, what ulterior motives drive this force of nature? What plans does he have for us mere mortals? We lesser creatures must bow to his almighty whim, so what ultimate purpose could he possibly have in store for us?

Well, gentle readers, I think I've figured it out. After much study and soul-searching, after delving into the deepest darkest recesses of the human psyche, I believe I have come up with the answer, the true calling for our Big Baby/Big Brother. The reason why he was put on this Earth ...

Others have tried to perform this task, and failed (web.archive.org).

Godspeed, Big Baby. And good luck.