Celtics wackiness courtesy of Yahoo! Sports

Image from sports.yahoo.com

In case you're feeling a bit lazy and don't want to click the link, here's the text Yahoo! provides to describe the image:

HOUSTON - MARCH 18: Troy Allen #42 of the Boston Celtics drops to the floor in pain after he is fouled by Luis Scola #4 of the Houston Rockets on March 18, 2008 at the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2008 NBAE (Photo by Bill Baptist/NBAE via Getty Images)

Not only do they get Tony's name wrong (perhaps they have him confused with Troy McClure [snpp.com]), but he seems to be perfectly fine in that particular photo, showing no signs of discomfort ...

How I enjoy pointing out the misstakes of o thers!

Random Celtics pop-culture reference of the day (03/08)

This might be my new "thing", to dig around for obscure references to the Boston Celtics within the pop-culture world (like here and here) ... Today's topic du jour, the comic strip "Rhymes with Orange" (rhymeswithorange.com):

Image from seattlepi.nwsource.com (note the jersey)

Now, I wonder which player Doc is going to have Rondo foul ... hmmm, I'd make a joke that he doesn't have a clue about clock management in end-of-game situations, but (considering the team's record this season) I'll leave that for someone like Bill Simmons.

More Celtics-related wackiness at The Onion

As if the C's haven't had enough pop-culture exposure already, parody site TheOnion.Com gives us not one but TWO stories featuring Gang Green:

Kevin Garnett proves he can touch the rim (theonion.com):

BOSTON — After dozens of practice-session attempts, Boston Celtics center Kevin Garnett proved Tuesday that he could touch the rim of the basket when his middle finger slightly grazed the front edge of the regulation-height goal on the north end of the team's practice court, finally putting to rest a month of speculation and ridicule from his teammates.

"I told those guys I could hit rim," said Garnett, adding that "nobody believed [him]" when he informed his teammates that he touched, and indeed nearly grabbed, the rim in January while he was shooting around by himself in his driveway. "I always said that if I'm warmed up enough, and I can get a running start from the other end of the court and don't have to worry about dribbling or anything, I can get rim no problem."

"I proved everyone wrong," Garnett added. "I shocked the world, just like last year when everyone said I couldn't get backboard."

Team sources confirmed that it took Garnett approximately one hour and over 15 tries before he finally touched the rim, though he reportedly came very close several times, often touching the middle and top sections of the net. During one instance, which his teammates were quick to point out didn't count, Garnet jumped to grab the net with both hands, then pulled himself up and hung on the rim. He then told teammate James Posey to throw him a ball, which he eventually managed to dunk before releasing the rim and returning to the ground.

"I had to really dig deep at the end there," said the 6'11" Garnett. "But I knew once I left the floor on that last try that I was going to get rim. I honestly don't think I have ever jumped that high in my life."

Celtics guards Ray Allen and Paul Pierce said that when Garnett told his fellow teammates in January that he could get rim on a 10-foot hoop, both responded, "Yeah, right" and "No way." The pair also responded "Okay, sure" and "Yeah, and?" to Garnett's claim of hitting rim at the hoop at his house, citing as general knowledge that Garnett's home basket easily stands less than 10 feet and that his driveway is inclined just enough to give him an unfair advantage.

"If Kevin had said he could get rim on a nine-foot hoop, I probably wouldn't have questioned it," said Pierce, who noted that Garnett, Allen, and himself get together Saturday afternoons, lower Pierce's backyard hoop to seven feet, and have dunk contests. "But 10 [feet]? That's really really high. Kevin's a good basketball player and all, but he's no Michael Jordan."

"I guess you have to give him credit, though, because in the end, he did it," Pierce said. "Man, I would kill to be able to get rim just once."

Allen, however, was not as quick to heap praise on his teammate, pointing out that even though Garnett touched rim, he "just barely got it," and claimed that if his ankle had not been injured, he too could have touched the rim.

"I don't see why everyone is making a big deal about this," the visibly jealous Allen said. "If I was as tall as Kevin I would be touching the rim all the time. So what if he can touch the rim? If he can't dunk, what's the point?"

Upon learning of his teammate's comments, Garnett said that if he got a large enough running start and jumped at the exact right moment, he could probably dunk a tennis ball.

Tim Duncan Sends Belated 'Great Game' Card To Celtics For February Defeat (theonion.com):

SAN ANTONIO — Weeks after the Spurs 98-90 loss to the Celtics on Feb. 10, power forward Tim Duncan sent personalized notes to each player on the Celtics roster, the entire coaching staff, the general manager, and owner, congratulating them for a "great game." "This would have gotten to you sooner if I had sent one card to the entire organization, but I felt that would diminish everyone's individual accomplishments," said Duncan, who sealed the envelopes with his personal crest embossed in wax. "I just wanted to let them know how much I appreciated everyone from the players to the front office. The Celtics did a splendid job, and I'm really proud of them." Although Duncan said he was conflicted as whether to write the notes using a pen or brush, he finally decided to use his favorite, a quill dipped in sable India ink, a time-consuming penmanship method that Duncan feels looks best on his heavy handmade paper.

This isn't the first time that the Celtics have felt The Onion's wrath, either ... Check it.

The deal is done ...

It's official (nba.com):

BOSTON - The Boston Celtics announced today that they have signed guard Sam Cassell. Per team policy, terms of the deal were not disclosed.

Cassell, a 6'3", 193 pound guard, is in his 15th season in the NBA. Cassell was averaging 12.8 points and 4.7 assists in 25.4 minutes per game this season for the Los Angeles Clippers in 38 games. The former All-Star has appeared in 115 career post-season games and has posted career averages of 13.6 points and 4.9 assists in his playoff career. Cassell has posted career averages of 15.9 points, 6.0 assists and 1.07 steals in 976 career games.

Sam probably won't be playing tonight against Detroit, and even Friday against Chicago isn't a definite just yet ... but we have our veteran backup point guard, and right now that's all that matters.

Also, just to make this posting appear to be longer, I'll use it as an excuse to post this picture again:Man, I just can't get enough of them eyes (credit to Gendo from the Something Awful forums [somethingawful.com]) ...

Celtics rule the pop-culture world this weekend

While the basketball world awaits the big announcement that Sam Cassell has officially joined the Green and White - and that should be coming by six o'clock tonight (sports.espn.go.com) - the Celtics brand-name was still being kept in the public eye with a few well-placed mentions within the popular media ...

For starters, I got to see the movie Semi-Pro (semipromovie.com) on Sunday (which turned out to be hi-LARious, as I predicted) and the character of Ed Monix - played with great aplomb by Woody Harrelson, obviously channeling his landmark performance from White Men Can't Jump - was actually supposed to be a member of the 1973-74 Celtics championship squad (basketball-reference.com).

I don't see Monix anywhere, maybe he's hiding behind Finkel

However, the deal is that Monix never got off the bench during the playoffs - Heinsohn must not have liked what he saw in practice - and when the movie begins in 1976, Ed's barely holding onto his spot in the ABA and is considered to be washed up ("I just got traded for a fuckin' washing machine" has officially entered the lexicon).

His new teammates on the Flint Tropics think he's a fake for wearing a championship ring that "he didn't even earn" ... but he eventually earns their respect by taking over the coaching reigns from Jackie Moon and telling them about how the Celtics functioned as a team instead of as individual players; his little motivational speech didn't last more than 30 seconds, but it was able to put Boston's mystique in a more positive light than the full 91-minute running time of Celtics Pride (web.archive.org).

However, that wasn't the only shout-out the Celtics got this weekend, as the Farrelly brothers' new sitcom Unhitched (fox.com) had its series premiere Sunday night ... which I almost missed because friggin' NASCAR (sports.yahoo.com) decided to run long even when FOX had already allocated an entire five-hour block to them; I swear, it's like Futurama getting bumped by Sunday night football all over again.

Anyway, the character of Kate (played by Rashida Jones whom you all should recognize from The Office) goes out on a blind date with someone that works within the Celtics organization ... Little does she know that the guy is in fact Lucky the Leprechaun, although the actor playing our beloved mascot is actually an impostor (imdb.com) and not the real deal (link.brightcove.com).

Images from bengiroux.com (where he misspells "Bostin Celtics")

It was just a small part of the episode, to be sure, but at least we got to see Ryan Gomes in the green uniform once again ... and once he becomes a free agent during the summer, who knows? It might not be the last time.

P.S. Don't blink or you'll miss it, but you can even catch a glimpse of Scott Pollard as a member of the Cavs ... freaky!

Buy low, Cassell high!

(this would also be a great headline if Sam were ever busted for marijuana possession)

Well, it looks like it's finally happened ... Cassell has gotten his buyout from the Clippers (boston.com) and - once he clears waivers - is expected to join our beloved Celtics roster:

Cassell signed buyout papers with the Clippers and won't clear waivers until Monday at 6 p.m., assuming he clears. The 38-year-old is expected to sign with the Celtics over the Nuggets and Mavericks. An NBA source said that Cassell plans to be in Boston when he clears waivers.

Since the two-time NBA champion will be waived prior to tomorrow's deadline, he will be eligible to play in the postseason.

"I think it's a situation where the team [Clippers] gives me an opportunity to chase another dream of mine," Cassell told the Los Angeles Times. "I appreciate it. There was frustration from both parties with our team being hurt and it was just an opportunity to move on."

Cassell spoke as if he will be wearing the green and white once he clears waivers. He said he would wear either No. 91 or 28. "I talked to [the Celtics] today and they said they want me," Cassell said.

Cassell will receive about half of the $1.7 million remaining on his $6.1 million contract, according to the Los Angeles Times. Despite signing forward/center P.J. Brown Wednesday, the Celtics still have one roster spot remaining. Boston can offer a prorated $1.2 million veteran's minimum to Cassell. The Clippers are expected to sign free agent guard Ronald "Flip" Murray to replace Cassell.

Celtics general manager Danny Ainge and coach Doc Rivers cannot comment on Cassell until he clears waivers.

"We do have one spot available, but I am very happy with our team," Ainge said last night.

As long as he's willing to play the backup minutes to Rajon Rondo - as well as apology for you know what (youtube.com) - this should be a no-brainer for Danny Ainge and the C's ... Throw in the recent acquisition of PJ Brown (and you can click on this link [gac.culture.gov.uk] if you don't get what that picture's supposed to be), and Boston has potentially picked up some solid veteran pieces with playoff experience.

All in all, I'm ready for Cassell to phone home and relocate to Boston (HA! See, because he looks like E.T., gawd I am so clever I must be the first person to ever make that joke) ...

It's cold outside, put on your PJs

C's ink PJ Brown (bostonherald.com):

The Celtics [team stats], their needs still not addressed at backup point guard, made a strong move today to add defense and strength to their frontcourt with the signing of veteran power forward P.J. Brown.

The 38-year-old Brown played for the Chicago Bulls last season before going into semi-retirement. He was also pursued by the Celtics last summer, but expressed a preference to remain near his home in Louisiana. He also declined re-signing with two other possible suitors -- New Orleans and Dallas.

A product of Louisiana Tech, Brown averaged 9.2 points, 7.8 rebounds and 1.0 blocks over his 14-year playing career. He played for the Nets, Heat, Hornets and Bulls.

The 6-foot-11, 239-pound Brown is considered a rugged defender and rebounder, especially at the "4" spot, and should provide the Celtics with yet another accomplished role player.

I guess size does matter ... considering how the troops were getting decimated on the boards at the start of that little five-game West Coast road trip, this signing should bring some much-needed relief in that department (at least until Perkins and "Big Baby" get out of their current funk).

This might not be the free-agent signing that fans were salivating over, as Cassell is still waiting in the wings (boston.com), but adding a little veteran beef to the frontline can't hurt (unless your name is Scott Pollard, ZING).