Betting People
Excerpt (The Burns and the Bees : s.20 : ep.8) | 01:13 | At a Billionaire's Retreat, Burns bets a million dollars and Smithers for the Austin Celtics.
Mr. Burns: I raise a million dollars! And, to sweeten the pot, my assistant Smithers!
Smithers: If you lose me, sir, may I say what an honor it's been to--
Mr. Burns: Bets don't talk. They see and raise.
Smithers: *sigh*
Rich Texan: Well, if we're bettin' people, I got a whole herd of 'em! My professional basketball team, the Austin Celtics!
Mr. Burns: Well, they're hardly worth a Smithers, but we don't have all night. Can you beat nine high?Burns would eventually rename the new Springfield Celtics franchise and dub them the Springfield Excitement ... So, maybe John Y. Brown wasn't so bad after all, eh?
Rich Texan: Damn! Eight high!
Mr. Burns: So, I own a basketball team, do I?
Rich Texan: Take good care of 'em, Burnsie. Don't let the forwards mix with the guards, and if they're acting sluggish, slip some steroids into their cocaine!
Alternate unfunny punchline: Hey, it could've been worse. He might have renamed them the Springfield Unicorns (en.allexperts.com) ...